Dads feel stressed, but love their lives
MODERN-day dads are finding it hard to juggle work and parenthood, but are largely happy with their lives.
Fatherhood is a hit with 90 per cent of Australian dads, but 55 per cent still feel burnt out and overwhelmed.
And 66 per cent doubt their capabilities, wishing they were better fathers.
The results, from a Galaxy survey of 1255 fathers of children aged up to 17 conducted exclusively for the Sunday Herald Sun, show 75 per cent of dads are happy with their lives – particularly those from high-income households.
Some 79 per cent said they had never regretted having children, but 18 per cent did so on “some days”.
The freedom to be spontaneous (53 per cent), time alone (40 per cent) and plenty of sleep (38 per cent) were things they missed most about their pre-child lives.
And 56 per cent found it hard to strike a balance between parenthood and work.
Half of the fathers had sought more flexible work hours to allow for more family time, but 64 per cent felt to do so would be career suicide.
While having children brought 29 per cent of respondents closer to their partners, 21 per cent said their relationship was now more like that between friends than lovers.
And 57 per cent of fathers wanted a more intimate relationship with their partner – a finding that was down the list in the Galaxy Mother’s Day study in May, well behind the desire for more help around the house.
On the cooking and cleaning front, 42 per cent of dads shared domestic chores, but 41 per cent admitted their partner did most of the work. Four per cent did not help.
Half would like to feel less tired and be nagged less by their partners (38 per cent).
And while 79 per cent felt their efforts were recognised by their partner, 35 per cent wanted more understanding about the pressures they felt.
Mens’ health advocate and former Hawthorn club doctor Dr Bernie Crimmins was not surprised by the results.
“The new-age guy certainly gets a lot of pressure put on him,” he said.
Dr Crimmins, the author of Blokes’ Health, said men needed to get fit to cope with the mental and physical demands of parenthood.
He urged men not to put pressure on themselves to be the “perfect dad”.
“It’s the little things that matter, like hugging your kids and having a kick of the footy,” he said.
“It’s also important not to take work too seriously.”
The survey also found the big causes of tension in relationships included disagreements over money (44 per cent), the disciplining of children (40 per cent) and fights about families and in-laws (39 per cent).
Top reasons for men upsetting partners included keeping them awake by snoring, arriving home late when told to be home early and forgetting a birthday or anniversary.
Fifteen per cent of fathers revealed they had secret bank accounts to draw on without their partner’s knowledge.
Fathers were worried about their children’s safety (70 per cent), exposure to drugs (67 per cent) health (54 per cent) and bullying or cyber-bullying (53 per cent).
And 61 per cent said the simple pleasures of family life were the best thing about being a dad, followed by enjoying the successes of their children (24 per cent).
